Today our soon to be son turns one year old. I'm filled with an array of emotions today. Of course if he were already here then today would be a wonderful day filled with lots of giggles and cake. As it is though, I am at work, J is in Charlotte watching the first round of the NCAA tournament, Sherman is at home, and our baby is in an orphanage in Ust-Kamenogorsk, Kazakhstan.
Earlier in the week when I thought about this day I was very sad and filled with self-pity and great sorrow about the fact that our baby is not with us. As I have moved through the week, I have tried to change my attitude somewhat. Instead of focusing on the negative of the situation, I am trying to keep the positives foremost in my thoughts. On this day last year, we did not even know that we would be adopting; we were in the throws of our last IVF cycle. Oh what a difference a year can make! Now we know who he is , where he lives, and that we will be traveling to meet him within the next little while. Wow, now we know we are going to be able to build a family together! That is something that we were not sure of this time last year.
To celebrate this morning I watched his video and sang Happy Birthday to him. Every time that I watch the video I notice something new about him and his surroundings...very cool. I have his little face memorized like only a mother can. I know that he will have changed dramatically when we see him, but I am hopeful that I will know those eyes as soon as I look into them.
Happy Birthday little guy. Mommy and Daddy will be on our way to you as soon as possible.
God Bless you son.